


Cucumber Phenomenon

by tiedyeflag



Category: Clockwork (Webcomic)
Genre: Friendship, Funny, Humor
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-15
Updated: 2015-12-15
Packaged: 2018-05-06 20:28:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5429729
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tiedyeflag/pseuds/tiedyeflag
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Boris and Esther decide to play a certain little trick on the Arcadian guests…</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cucumber Phenomenon

Brushing her blonde hair out of her face as she sat up on the ground, Esther raised an eyebrow, surprised to see the Mercian prince rubbing his head. Sitting amongst the papers Esther had dropped from the collision with him was an unfamiliar, green object, contrasting with the red decor of the carpet.

“Boris, are you okay?” Esther asked while picking up the object, staring at it puzzlingly. “And…is this a cucumber…?”

“Shoot! Gimme that!” Boris snatched it hastily from Esther’s hands. After inspecting it, he sighed with relief. “Phew, it’s in one piece. That was the last one in the kitchen!”

“Are you starting some new diet?” Esther joked while getting to her feet. She held out a hand and pulled Boris up after. “Or is Cookie trying some new recipe?”

“Neither!” The prince sung, eying the cucumber in his hand mischievously, like it was the grand key to the darkest secrets in the world.

“Then…is Christian using it for some experiment…?”

“Nope!”

“Hmm…Cog trying to eat more like an adult?”

“Not even close!”

“Then I give up.” Esther shrugged in exasperation before leaning down to Boris’s level. “Spill it; what are you up to with that thing?”

Boris hesitated, glancing over his shoulder to check for eavesdroppers. Lowering his voice to a whisper, he said, “Okay…but you’ve got to _promise_ not to stop me. Or tell anyone. Got it?”

Esther paused, thinking of any potentially dangerous situations Boris could get into with a meager vegetable.

Well…it couldn’t be any worse than crashing his airship in front of everyone, right?

“Okay, I promise.” Boris gestured for her to lean closer. After she did so, he cupped a hand around his mouth as he spoke in a low voice. “You know that thing where cats turn around and see a cucumber behind them? And jump two feet in the air?”

“Yeah, a friend of mine said her cat did it…”

“Well…” Boris chuckled with a malicious gleam in his eyes as he continued to whisper into Esther’s ear. Her eyes widened along with her grin as she tried to contain her laugh.

“ _Pfft-pfft-!_ Y-you really think it’ll work?”

“That’s what I’M gonna find out!” Boris rocked back on his heels, boastingly holding up his prized cucumber.

“Boris, tha-haha-that…” Esther wiped a tear from her eye. “That is the funniest thing I have ever heard…”

“I know, right? Even if I do say so myself…” If both of Boris’s hands were free, they’d be rubbing against each other in a villainous manner.

“…Mind if I tag along?”

“Huh?”

“This is something I’ve gotta see,” Esther planted her hands on her hips. “No way am I missing this!”

“Sure!” Boris chirped, but then furrowed his brows in seriousness. “But you have to be _quiet_. Or else we’ll both be caught.”

“Of course!”

Boris narrowed his eyes as he mumbled, “Says the woman who slipped to a civilian that she was a member of The Five.”

“Okay, okay I slipped up back then but it was with Christian and he’s not a chatterbox so everything worked out. Besides,” Esther grinned, “you’ll need some help getting out of there if you are caught.”

“Hm…” Boris scratched the back of his neck as he thought. “…Alright, fair enough.”

“Then what are we standing around here for? Let’s go!”

* * *

With the caution of a cat burgler, Esther slowly opened the door and peeked inside. A long table sat in the middle of the even longer room, flooded with sunlight from the giant windows. Although the not-in-use dining table could fit two dozen people easily, only three people sat in it. Or, better put, slept on it. Two of them, Alex and Leo, slept with their heads in their folded arms while Kasper Hawkins hung his head back on the chair, snoring loud enough to wake the entire Mercian kingdom.

“Geez, how can those two can sleep through that?” Boris muttered as he followed Esther into the room.

“There’s a several hour difference between here and Arcadia, remember? What you see here are three serious cases of jet lag.” Esther explained. “They’re all knocked out cold.”

“Well, then maybe it’s time we wake up our sleeping beauties…” Boris smirked. He crept closer to them and then delicately placing the cucumber on the ground next to Leo’s chair.

“Psst, Boris!” Esther waved at him from behind a nearby curtain. He tip toed over to her and slipped besides her so they were perfectly hidden. At the same time, they could part the curtains to get front row seats of the show.

“Okay, now to get their attention…” Boris dug through his pockets, and Esther heard the sound of clinking metal. He pulled out a silver, polished bolt and held it between his thumb and forefinger.

“Get that from Cog?” Esther asked, and Boris nodded. Sticking his tongue out of the corner of his mouth, he held up the bolt, aimed, and flicked it towards Leo.

And missed. It hit the table with a _dink!_ and rolled to the other side.

With a grunt, Boris flicked another bolt, only to have it land on Leo’s thick mane. He didn’t even bat an ear, however, as if the bolt was lost forever in the depths of his hair.

“Third time’s the cha-” Boris’s eyes widened as he dug through his pocket. He held up his last bolt in his hands and stared at it.

_Shoot._

“Let me try,” Esther whispered and held out her hand. Blinking, Boris slowly dropped the last of his ammunition into her palm and watched her raise it to her eye level. With a mischievous smile, she saw Alex’s head through the hole in the middle of the bolt. Then she stretched her arm back and threw it at the crown of blonde hair on the table.

Boris could swear he heard the dull _boink!_ as it hit the ambassador’s head, and he immediately stirred with a yelp.

“Ow!…what…?” Alex blinked blearily. He rubbed his head where the bolt had hit him, mumbling unsavory language under his breath. After a moment of gathering his bearings, he looked to his left and right, seeing the other two men still sleeping beside him. With an elegant sigh, he stood up from his chair and approached Leo’s.

“Leo, wake up…” Alex placed a hand on Leo’s massive shoulder and with a low _mrrrrp_ the man was half awake.

“Five more minutes, Mom…” Leo mumbled as his eyes closed.

“Leonardo Von Ostrand, do I sound like a mother to you?”

“W-wha-I’m awake, I’m awake!” With wide eyes Leo jerked his head up and locked eyes with Alex’s. “B-but I could use a longer cat nap, sir…” Leo yawned, stretching his muscular arms to his sides, hands stretching out like a cat’s toes.

“We’ve napped long enough, now help me wake up Hawkins.” Alex turned to the still snoring officer.

“Yes, sir…” Leo mumbled. Just as he turned out of his seat, his eyes dilated at the cucumber on the ground. “Y-YAAHG!!”

At the sound of Leo’s yelp, Alex turned around with a raised eyebrow. His face paled when he saw Leo jumping backwards towards him.

_“Leo-?!”_ Before Alex could finish, Leo landed into his arms, and he held him like a hapless maiden. A very, very large and heavy one. His slender knees wobbled from the weight.

“L-Leonardo Von O-Ostrand, what is the meaning of this-?!”

Meanwhile, Esther and Boris pressed their hands to their mouths tightly with giggles slipping past their lips. When Alex’s body collapsed under Leo’s ginormous body, however, both were on the verge of splitting open howling with laugher.

“C-can’t…breathe…” Alex’s voice cracked from below.

“Alex!!” Leo leaped off of Alex and shook him by the shoulders. “Alex, I’m sorry, are you okay?!”

While Leo ‘helped’ Alex catch his breath, Esther and Boris used the opportunity to slip out from the curtains and dash to the door, sputtering laughs as they left the scene of the crime. When the door shut behind them, their guffaws could be heard loud and clear even through the walls.

And with that, Hawkins let out another long snore while Alex dug a bolt out of Leo’s mane, baffled.

**Author's Note:**

> AN: Inspired by the trend of tumblr cat videos. Cats would be eating out of their food dish, when their owner would place a cucumber behind them. And when the cats turn around, BAM! They jump! XD Oooh I am going to write about so many kitty quirks with Leo because I am an animal lover~


End file.
